I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
