We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
