we have officially lost it.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Who put my cat in the fridge?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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