I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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