Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
