no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
