i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
