i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
