Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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