So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
