whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
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its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
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You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
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