Non-Jews are for practice
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
