I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
