i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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