is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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