God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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