Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
