if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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