i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
