to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
jump out the window naked night went bad
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