Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
