It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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