I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
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You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
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You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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