can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
