I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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