okay pat passed out under dana's car
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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