I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
