Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
