I think I won the penis lottery.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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