Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
