I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I just cut my nipple shaving
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
