So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
