she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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