the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
