I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
