Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
