we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
