Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
