your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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