Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Randomize
