: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
