Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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