Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
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on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
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I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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