I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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