I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
