remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
