It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
