she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
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I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
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Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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