ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
