The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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