apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
