Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
