Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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