oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
