he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
