you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
