Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
