in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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