Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
