Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
