It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
