i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
