Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
