Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
