I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
