Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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